My face of grief was so blinding that I cried every day for the first year on the way to work. There were constant reminders all around me: cyclists, planes, brothers with their sisters. I still remember few details immediately following my brother’s death. Friends said “Don’t worry in five years the feelings will wane”. This was not to be, so I completely inundated myself in the scripture, and it was the only thing that really offered some relief and encouragement. See scriptures that heal.
During the healing process some may become addicted to food, alcohol or drugs. This helps to numb the pain temporarily. As time progresses it requires more of that fix to have the same effect and you can find yourself spiraling out of control. For me the fix was food. At first, I had no appetite and even lost weight but at that time I was numb both physically and emotionally. After the funeral the pain became excruciating, and I would do anything to ease it. I have always been an emotional eater so this worked initially. As time progressed however, that the pain became unbearable. I gained almost 50 pounds. It was then that I realized I was grieving as one without hope.
Many will express their solicited or unsolicited opinions of how long it will take for you to heal. Be encouraged, we serve a God who knows exactly how we are feeling and who hurts when we hurt. Nobody else truly knows how you feel. Therefore they cannot determine how long the healing process will be. Grief is a journey, a journey that lasts a lifetime.
Let no-one dictate to you a timeline, method, or process for your healing. You may seek solace within your local Church, seek therapy immediately, or defer therapy until later. You will recognize eventually what works best for you. I implore believers however, to seek Therapists, Psychologists or Psychiatrists who are also believers and to use resources which are scripture-based. The world may help you temporarily change behaviour, but only God can spark a change inside the heart which in turn changes your beliefs and actions. When we reflect on scripture it transforms how we think. It empowers us to take an active role in our healing.