Hearing the News
I spoke with him the night before. I don’t remember what was said, but I do remember thinking that our conversation was unusually brief. The morning of July 16th 2011, my family and I had planned to go on a bicycle ride together. I woke up feeling uneasy, tried to shake the feeling but just could not. The family went for the bicycle ride, as planned and for some reason my senses were inexplicably heightened. The scenery stood out much more, its beauty seemed magnified, the flowers smelled fresher and birds sounded perfectly exquisite. Everything touched me on a spiritual level and though I was amazed and enraptured, I just could not figure out why.
I returned home and went about all the tasks a wife and mom undertakes on the weekend, breakfast with all the trimmings, laundry and cleaning. I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Then the phone rang. I answered the phone. It was my mom. She sounded so strange. She asked to speak to my husband who was in the shower. I gave him the phone, heard him say hello and then I heard deafening silence. I think I knew then that something was terribly wrong so I ran. I ran out of our bedroom, ran downstairs and sat on the sofa. For him showers usually take much longer, but he came downstairs rather quickly. I looked at his face and knew something bad had happened. I thought something had happened to my Dad as he had been hospitalized the February prior.
Rohan sat on the couch beside me and took my hand, “Your brother was in an accident” he said, “Is he going to be okay?” I said, “I am so sorry, he is gone.” he said. I recall nothing that happened thereafter. I ran from the living room, and outside to our backyard. He came after me and tried to hold me but I shouted “No, no!” and pushed him away. I went out our side gate to the front of our house and sat on the verandah and just sobbed uncontrollably. I did not care who saw me or how I looked. It was as if time stood still. The pain was simply excruciating.
Looking back, it all seemed to happen in slow mention. The day is still a blur. The news spread like wild fire and people from all over the world some of whom I don’t even know called or stopped by. I remember messages in my inbox, phone calls and text messages all from individuals extending their sympathies. I was stunned, numb and mute. My children ages 1 and 5 both took a nap at the same time that day, which was unprecedented. The Lord knew I needed that reprieve. I was so distraught I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Then suddenly, I remembered the bicycle ride that morning and realized something: God in His infinite beauty was ushering my brother home possibly at that very moment. This is why He caused my spirit to be more vitally aware of things in the natural. Somehow, in the midst of my anguish and pain, I felt comforted. The pain did not go away, but it did, for a moment, subside and I was able to reminisce with affection and recall the wonderful memories that we had shared. Some of these memories where recent, others were in the past. I thanked God for affording me the opportunity to spend the time we had together, and I will cherish them completely until we meet again.